You will never be good enough for the wrong person, quit trying

I recall how I was begging my ex and literally crying for her not to leave me, begging and begging to be loved.

That incident created a mental block in me and I said to myself that I will never beg to be loved again.

Well, it was a good decision, at least it’s never a good thing to beg to be loved, so I made that decision, no matter how beautiful, educated, sophisticated, wealthy a lady maybe, I decided never to beg for her love or for her to be in my life, once I notice she’s acting up I take a walk.

After what happened, I met another lady, after many acquaintances, after many calls and chats, after seeing each other for a couple of times, I realised that she was acting funny and because of the memories of my past and the decision I have made never to beg to be loved, I stopped calling her, I stopped chatting, I stopped caring… I said to myself, I won’t force conversation, I won’t force love….but I was wrong.

After some days, she demanded to see me, we met and she asked why I stopped calling, chatting and caring and this was my response.

“I noticed you were acting funny, and because of what happened to me in the past, I decided to walk away because I can never beg to be loved or accepted”

She said to me ” I wasn’t acting up for you to beg me, I was acting up just to see your seriousness, I wanted to see if you truly wanted me as you claimed, I have been through a lot too in my past, so my acting up was a defensive mechanism too to see if you truly wanted me, I was expecting you to fight on and convince me that you were serious and you truly wanted me”

Sadly, I never saw it that way, I was hurt by my past, I couldn’t differentiate between begging to be loved and fighting for what you love, there’s a difference, so I had to learn it the hard way that fighting for what you love is not begging to be loved.

Our approach was due to our past experiences, she was acting up to see if I was truly serious because of her past experiences, me, on the other hand, was thinking she wanted me to beg her for love which I vowed never to do again because of my past experience, our present reality was as a result of our past experiences.

Listen to me, some behaviours are due to our past, you may be surprised that the reason she may never visit you is because she tried visiting a guy once and she was raped, so don’t think she hates you, it’s her past playing out.

The reason he may not want to spend recklessly on you is because he did it for his ex and she still left him, it’s his past dealing with him…….

But it’s so wrong to let your past control your present, you have to leave that shell and move on.

So, I say, don’t let your past experience become a stigma that affects every other thing you do, the more you hold on to your past the longer you delay your true happiness.

You will never be good enough for the wrong person, quit trying and move on.

I don’t know if this write up makes sense, I just felt like sharing this today and I hope it blesses you.