A Christian woman is asking for advice about her relationship with a Muslim who talks with her and goes out with her

Question

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Allah created men and women and created in each of them
attraction towards the other as part of their nature, which no one can deny.
Islam pays attention to that and regulates the relationship between the two,
which is restricted to marriage; Islam forbids any other kind of
relationship which is unacceptable to sound human nature and proper
thinking. Woman is not a cheap product for anyone who wants to have his way
with her; rather she is respected and should be for one man to take care of
her, spend on her and give her her rights. The way to take a woman as a wife
is by seeing her first, then asking her guardian for her hand, then giving
some wealth to be a dowry for her. All of that means that Islam regards
woman as a respectable being, not something that is easily obtained, so that
she will not be treated carelessly and looked down upon. What we see in the
world of promiscuity is that a man tries to get a woman he likes in order to
have his way with her, then he throws her aside so that he can look for
another who is more beautiful than her, and so on; and he moves from one
prey to another, one girlfriend to another. Thus no family is formed and no
children are born; as a result no family is formed on a basis of peace and
tranquillity. All of that is rejected in Islam which forbids it in a way
that leaves no room for differences of opinion. Every Muslim who goes
against that is following his whims and desires and is imitating deviant and
immoral people. Islam disavows his conduct and actions.

Based on that, relationships that occur between men and women
outside the framework of legitimate, documented marriage are haraam
(forbidden) relationships which it is not permissible for a Muslim to form
with any woman, whether she is Muslim or non-Muslim. We admire your telling
this Muslim man who is going against his religion that if he is looking for
sex he should look somewhere else. This confirms what we have said, that
woman is not a cheap product. But we do not approve of your going out with
him and what happened between you of being alone together and kissing. If
you think that this is something normal in your view, that is not the case
for us. What he has done are things that are forbidden in Islam and it is
not appropriate for a Muslim to do them. If you like each other, then the
only way for meetings between you to be permissible is marriage and nothing
else. Any meeting or relationship with a woman who is not related to the man
that occurs outside the framework of marriage is haraam (forbidden) and is
deserving of punishment in the Hereafter.

See, for example, the answer to question no.
34841.

Secondly:

You should note that Islam permits marriage to a Christian
woman on condition that she should be a believer in her religion and she
should not be an atheist or a person with no religion, and on condition that
she should be chaste and honourable, not a fornicator or a woman who has
boyfriends. In order for the marriage contract to be valid, you should have
a guardian who will give your hand in marriage and there should be two
Muslim witnesses to the marriage contract; announcement of the marriage may
take the place of witnesses. For more details on this, please see the answer
to questions no. 2527 and
12283.

The fact that a woman has children from a previous marriage
does not affect her marriage to a Muslim. If someone says that it is not
permissible for a Christian or Jewish woman to marry a Muslim unless she is
a virgin, that view is not correct. Rather the condition for her being
permissible (as a wife for a Muslim man) is that she should be chaste and
avoid fornication. This condition also applies to Muslim women; it is not
permissible for a chaste Muslim man to marry a woman who commits fornication
unless she repents sincerely. And it is not permissible for a chaste woman
to marry a man who commits fornication unless he repents sincerely, as we
have explained in the answer to question no.
85335.

As the relationship between you has not gone as far as
fornication or adultery as you say, praise be to Allah, then there is no
reason why he should not marry you, as we have explained in the answer to
question no. 148528.

Thirdly:

With regard to the Muslim man’s family, they may accept their
son marrying a Christian woman who has children. If they refuse, that is not
because it is something that is forbidden in Islam; rather it may be for
cultural reasons, or perhaps because they think that their son is not able
to fulfil the rights of that wife and take care of her children. But they
cannot accept their son having a girlfriend with whom he spends time alone
or travels with her; if they accept that, then they are undoubtedly going
against Islamic teachings.

The issue of whether or not his family will accept that is a
social issue, not a religious ruling. It is not one of the conditions of a
man’s marriage that his family should accept it, although that is something
that is desirable.

Fourthly:

Even though the man is Muslim – as you say – that does not
prevent us from speaking the truth with regard to what he has done with you
and the ruling on his relationship with you. We would give you some further
advice: do not pay any attention to the sweet talk from anyone who has a
relationship with you outside the framework of marriage. That includes this
man’s saying that he has become “a captive love” to you and that he “will
never exploit” you, and other such enchanting words. All of that is most
likely aimed at getting what he wants, which is to have his way with you,
then he will go off and look for someone else. What we are saying is only
based on understanding the reality of illicit relationships, especially
those that begin in chat rooms and on Facebook. We hope that you will not be
deceived by this sweet talk. If this man is sincere in his love for you,
then let him prove it by marrying you. As for proving that by going out
together to watch a movie or to a restaurant, none of that is proof of
sincerity of feelings, so do not pin your hopes on it. Even if non-Muslims
do that and women accept it, Islam forbids it and does not approve it, and
it warns women against being fooled by it.

Fifthly:

Now the opportunity presents itself for us to tell you of
something that will be better for you in this world and in the Hereafter,
which is to enter Islam and become a Muslim woman who affirms the Oneness of
Allah, the Creator of the universe and the Provider of all creation. This
religion to which we are calling you is the religion of Jesus (peace be upon
him) and the religion of Abraham and their fellow Prophets and Messengers,
all of whom worshipped One Lord, namely Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted. They devoted their worship to Him alone, with no partner or
associate, and they called the people to do likewise. Islam is the religion
that brought rulings which are suited to all times and all places; it
addresses the interests of individuals and societies. You will feel great
happiness, as has been experienced by those who have gone ahead of you on
this path. After that, Allah will make it easy for you to find a suitable
husband who will take care of you, give you your rights and seek reward with
Allah by taking care of your children, and perhaps you and he will attain
the reward of their becoming Muslim and you will be together with them in
this world and the Hereafter. If you do not become Muslim, then you must
understand that even if you are together with a Muslim man as his wife in
this world, in the Hereafter you will inevitably be separated from him. This
underlines what we have said, that your becoming Muslim means attaining
success in this world and in the Hereafter. Being together with your husband
and children in the Paradise of eternity is a great success for which wise
people strive and those who are doomed miss out on.

We ask Allah to guide you to that which is best for you in
this world and in the Hereafter, and to make it easy for you to find a
righteous and good husband.

And Allah knows best.