Feelings of love towards people vary

Question

Praise be to Allah.

The Muslim has many rights
over his fellow Muslim, including:

The Right of brotherhood
which Allaah mentions in His Book, where He says (interpretation of the
meaning): “The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic
religion)” [al-Hujuraat 49:10].

He has the right of loyalty
and support which are mentioned in the verse (interpretation of the
meaning): “The believers, men and women, are Awliyaa’ (helpers,
supporters, friends, protectors) of one another” [al-Tawbah 9:71].

The Muslim also has the
right over his fellow Muslim that he should love good for him and wish for
happiness and guidance without any hatred, envy or resentment.

It was narrated from Anas
ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one of you truly believes until he
loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(13) and Muslim (45).

On this basis, he should
have a certain amount of love for all Muslims, Arabs and non-Arabs, near and
far, white and black, which stems from the belief in Tawheed that they have
in common. This is love that stems from love of Allaah that is instilled in
the heart of every Muslim, because the one who loves a thing loves those who
love it too.

Nevertheless, the fact that
the level of the love that one Muslim has for another may vary is nothing
strange, and there is nothing wrong with it according to the laws of both
sharee’ah and nature, for two main reasons:

The first reason is that
the Muslims vary in righteousness and piety, and they are of varying degrees
of attitude, etiquette and chivalry. Because love basically stems from a
Muslim’s commitment to the commands of Allaah, this love varies according to
the differences in righteousness from one Muslim to another.

This is something that is
well known. Do you not see that the Muslim is obliged to love all the
Companions of the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon
him), yet at the same time he has to single out the ten who were given the
glad tidings of Paradise for extra love and respect, and that is only
because of the differences in their status before Allaah.

The second reason is the
presence of other causes of love in some Muslims and not others. Love is not
restricted to one reason only, which is adherence to obedience to Allaah;
rather it has many other causes, including compatibility between the hearts
of those who love one another and spiritual harmony between them. Kindness
and favours are among the most important causes of creating love, and good
character and appearance are also important motives of love.

If all of these causes or
some of them are combined in one person, he will be loved greatly, and he
will be closer to people’s hearts than anyone else.

We will quote here some
useful words by the great scholar Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (may Allaah have
mercy on him) in which he explains the motives and causes of love, and how
these very among people. He (may Allaah have mercy on him) says:

Compatibility between souls
is one of the strongest causes of love. Every person is attracted towards
that which is compatible with him, and this compatibility is of two types:
original compatibility which is ingrained in the essence and that which
comes later because of because of living together or having something in
common.

If your aims match his
aims, there will be harmony between your soul and his, but if the aims are
different, then harmony will no longer exist.

As for original
compatibility, it is a kind of similarity in attitude and similarity of
souls. Each soul longs for other souls that are similar to it, because what
is similar to something is naturally attracted to it, so the two souls may
be similar in original creation, thus there will be a natural attraction to
one another.

This is what made some
people say that love is not only caused by physical beauty, and the lack of
physical beauty does not mean that there can be no love; rather it is
similarity between souls and similarity in their characteristics which are
created in them that matter.

The reality of love is that
it is like a mirror in which the lover sees his characteristics and kindness
in the image of the one he loves, so in reality he loves nothing but himself
and his characteristics and the one who has similar characteristics.

Hence noble, pure and
sublime souls love the characteristics of perfection in particular, so the
dearest things to them are knowledge, bravery, dignity, generosity,
kindness, patience and steadfastness, because these characteristics are
compatible with the essence of these souls, unlike base and mean souls,
which are far away from loving these characteristics. Many people are
motivated to be generous and kind because of their extreme love for these
characteristics and the pleasure they find in doing these things, to such an
extent that al-Ma’moon said: Forgiveness was made so dear to me that I am
afraid that I will not be rewarded for it. And it was said to Imam Ahmad ibn
Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him): Did you acquire this knowledge for
the sake of Allaah? He said: To do something for the sake of Allaah is very
rare, but it was something made dear to me, so I did it. Someone else said:
I rejoice in giving and enjoy it far more than the one who takes from me
rejoices in what he takes.

With regard to the lovers
of knowledge, their love for knowledge is greater than the love of anyone
else or anything else. Many of them will not be distracted from it by the
most beautiful of human images.

Our Shaykh – meaning Ibn
Taymiyah – told me: I felt sick and the doctor said to me: Your reading and
discussing issues of knowledge is making your sickness worse. I said to him:
I cannot stay away from that, and I shall discuss the issue on the basis of
your (medical) knowledge. Is it not the case that when the soul feels joy,
this gives strength to the body and wards off disease? He said yes. I said:
Then my soul feels happy with knowledge and thus my body becomes stronger
and this helps me to recover. He said: This is not part of our treatment, or
words to that effect

If the love relationship is
based on similarity and harmony, then it will be reinforced and become
stronger, and nothing could remove it except something stronger than the
cause of it, and if it is not based on similarity and harmony, then it is no
more than love for a reason, which will disappear when the reason
disappears.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may
Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in his Musnad the hadeeth of
‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her): A woman used to go to Quraysh
and make them laugh. She came to Madeenah and stayed with a woman who also
made people laugh. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him)
said: With whom is So and so staying? She said: With So and so, who makes
people laugh. He said: “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they
recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they
will not get along with.” The original version of this hadeeth is in al-Saheeh.

If you look at creation,
you will hardly find any two people who love one another except that there
is some similarity between them or they have something in common with regard
to deeds, characteristics or goals. If the goals, characteristics, deeds or
ways differ, there can only be aversion and distance between their hearts.
It is sufficient to note the saheeh hadeeth from the Messenger of Allaah
(blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him): ““The believers, in their
mutual mercy, love and compassion, are like a (single) body; if one part of
it feels pain, the rest of the body will join it in staying awake and
suffering fever.”

End quote.

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen,
66-74

And Allaah knows best.