He is a student living in Denmark and he is suffering with the secret habit

Question

Praise be to Allah.

On this site we have
discussed many issues to do with masturbation, and we have mentioned the
ruling on it, that it is haraam, as well as ways of protecting oneself
against it and ways of giving it up – see question no.
329. It seems that
you have read all of that, and that you want something that applies
specifically to you, so we will discuss some specific issues with you:

-1-

The fact that you pray
regularly, are keen not to form relationships with girls, your determination
not to fall into this bad habit and your regret after doing it are all good
and will be included in the balance of your good deeds, in sha Allaah. We
encourage you to carry on with that and build on it, and do not give up.
Your faith has to continue to increase; do not give the shaytaan any
opportunity to harm you and make you feel that you are contradicting
yourself or stop you regretting and repenting, lest you become one of the
doomed.

-2-

Do not add to this bad
habit other sins that will incur the wrath of your Lord, may He be glorified
and exalted. If your desire overwhelms your faith and reason, and leads you
to practice this bad habit, what is making you commit other sins that incur
the wrath of Allaah? What we mean is looking at corrupt websites. Fear
Allaah with regard to yourself and do not fan the flames of desire in your
heart by looking at haraam things or reading pornographic stories or other
things that provoke desire. There is no excuse for any of that because you
have control over whether you do it or not.

-3-

Unfortunately you are
living in a permissive country and studying in a mixed environment, where
you see evil and immoral things which may cause you to fall into this habit.
There is no doubt that committing this sin is less serious than committing
zina, if we assume that you have the opportunity to commit this immoral
action and it is the matter of choosing between zina and masturbation. But
if you really want to rid yourself of this habit and other sins, then you
have to rid yourself of the things that provoke these desires, such as
living in a permissive country, looking at haraam things and mixing in
haraam ways.

-4-

What we have mentioned in
our previous answers is sufficient for you and others who sincerely wish to
rid themselves of this habit. But we will tell you of two important things
which we hope will help you to rid yourself of this habit and other haraam
things:

(i)

First of all, we ask you:
could you do this bad habit in front of your family and brothers? Could you
do it in front of your friends and neighbours? Could you do it in front of
any of the scholars or the Sahaabah? We are certain that your answer will
be: No, I could not do that, no matter what levels my desire reached. Is
that not the case? Well, do you know that you are doing it before the Lord
of the heavens and the earth?! Do you know that the Creator of the universe
can see you when you are doing it? Do you know that when you do it the noble
angels can see you? How can you regard Allaah as the least of those who can
see you?

Who is most deserving that
you should feel shy before them – those from whom you conceal your action so
that they will not say bad things about you, or the One Who warns you of
punishment for your action?

Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):

“They may hide (their
crimes) from men, but they cannot hide (them) from Allaah; for He is with
them (by His Knowledge), when they plot by night in words that He does not
approve”

[al-Nisa’ 4:108].

Imam Ibn Jareer al-Tabari
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

What Allaah means in the
words “They may hide (their crimes) from men” is that these people
who are fooling themselves conceal what they do of betrayal and sin “from
men” who could not do them any harm except saying bad things about them
because of what they do, if they find out about it.

“but they cannot hide
(them) from Allaah” Who is watching them, and none of their deeds are
hidden from Him, and He is the One Who can punish and hasten the punishment;
He is the One before Whom they should feel shy, above all others, and He is
the One Who should be respected so that He will not see them do anything
that they would not like any of His creation to see them doing.

“for He is with them (by
His Knowledge)” means: Allaah is watching them.

Tafseer al-Tabari
(9/191)

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan
al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This is due to weakness of
faith and lack of certain belief, because in their case fear of other people
is greater than fear of Allaah, so they strive by both permissible and
forbidden means to make sure that they are not found out by other people,
but despite that they challenge Allaah by committing major sins and they did
not care that He sees them and that He is with them by His knowledge in all
their affairs, especially when they do that which does not please Him.

Tafseer al-Sa’di
(p. 200)

(ii)

You do not know when you
will die, do you? And you do not know in what condition you will die, do
you? Stop for a moment and think about it. What if Allaah were to take your
soul in death when you were doing this bad habit? Would this be a good end
or a bad one? What if you were to be raised from your grave when the last
thing you were doing is this habit? Perhaps you have heard the stories that
are widely propagated in words and images about those foolish girls whose
end came when they were committing evil actions. Who can guarantee that you
– or us – will have a good end? Who has any control over the manner and time
of death except Allaah?

We hope that you will think
about what we have said to you, and ask your Lord with all sincerity to
cleanse your heart and physical faculties from sins and evils. It was
narrated from Abu Dharr in a hadeeth qudsi that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Allaah said: “O My slaves, all of
you are astray except those whom I guide, so ask Me for guidance and I will
guide you.” Narrated by Muslim.

So hasten to fill your time
with beneficial things and strive to keep company with righteous people who
can take care of you. Hasten to get married, for there is no permissible way
of fulfilling your desires except marriage. It is not essential for you to
have your parents’ permission.

The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can
afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the
gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him
fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(4778) and Muslim (1400)

Imam al-Nawawi (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said:

Whoever among you can
afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford to get
married should fast so as to reduce his desire. Based on this the words are
addressed to youth who are the ones who usually desire women and cannot
avoid thinking of their physical desires.

Sharh
Muslim (9173).

Strive to save yourself. We
ask Allaah to enable you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him,
and to purify your heart and physical faculties, and to make you steadfast
in faith and certain belief, and to grant you a good end.

See also the answer to
question no. 20229 for information on ways to help you lower your gaze; no.
20161 for information on solving the problem of desire; and
39768 where we
have mentioned the health effects of this habit on the body, mind, face and
memory, and ways of ridding oneself of this habit and avoiding it.

And Allaah is the Source of
strength.