He is asking about the custom of joking with the groom on his wedding night

Question

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Celebrating weddings and other
worldly occasions is permissible subject to the condition that they are free
of reprehensible matters such as free mixing, music and so on. Such
activities are coming under the heading of permissible fun and there is
nothing wrong with that according to Islamic teachings.

See also the answer to question
no. 115148.

Secondly:

It is not appropriate to stay in
a Muslim’s house so long that it causes a disturbance to him or his family.
It is also not appropriate to enter his house at a time when he may not like
anyone to enter, even if that is by way of joking or having fun.

Al-Bukhaari (5163) and Muslim
(1428) narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) got married and consummated the marriage
with his wife. My mother Umm Sulaym made some hays and put it in a
stone vessel, then she said: O Anas, take this to the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). Then he said: “Go and invite So
and so for me, and whomever you meet,” and he mentioned some men by name. I
invited those whom he had named and whoever else I met. And the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to me: “O Anas, bring
the stone vessel.” They came in until they filled the courtyard and the
apartment. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “Let them make circles of ten, and let each man eat from what is
nearest to him.”
They ate until they were full; one group went out and another group came
in, until they had all eaten. Then he said to me: “O Anas, clear it away.” I
picked it up, and I do not know whether it held more when I put it down or
when I picked it up. Some of them sat talking in the house of the Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was sitting there, and his
wife had her face turned towards the wall. They were bothering the Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) went out and greeted his
wives, then he came back. When they saw that the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had come back, they realized that
they were bothering him. So they all rushed to the door and left. The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) came and hung
up a curtain and went in, and I was sitting in the apartment. It was not
long before he came out to me, and this verse had been revealed. The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) went out and
recited it to the people:

“O you who believe! Enter not
the Prophet’s houses, unless permission is given to you for a meal, (and
then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation. But when you are
invited, enter, and when you have taken your meal, disperse without sitting
for a talk. Verily, such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet…”

[al-Ahzaab 33:53].

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah
have mercy on him) said:

What is meant by dispersing
after having eaten is moving from the place where people ate so as to make
it easier for the owner of the house. End quote.

Ibn Battaal (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:

Causing annoyance to the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is haraam for all of his ummah.
Similarly, it is haraam for the believers to cause annoyance to one
another.

From the hadeeth we learn the
fiqhi ruling that if a person sits for so long in someone else’s house that
he causes annorance to the owner of the house, it is permissible for the
owner to get up and leave him, or to tell him that he needs him to leave, so
that he will leave, and that is not bad manners.

End quote from Sharh Saheeh
al-Bukhaari (9/510).

A Muslim may be annoyed by
something that his friends do to him by way of joking and playing, or by way
of following the people’s customs, but he may feel too shy to tell them not
to do that, for fear of hurting their feelings. The wise Muslim would not do
that to his Muslim brother, especially in his house and on his wedding
night. He may be upset by that, but feel too shy to say anything to them,
and his wife may be upset and annoyed by that deed. With regard to such
matters, the least that may be said is that they are makrooh (disliked), if
they cause any harm or annoyance to the groom or to the owner of the house.

What should be done is to adhere
to the Islamic etiquette having to do with asking permission to enter,
entering the house and staying in the house, especially at sensitive times
when staying for too long may cause a great deal of inconvenience to the
household.

Moreover, asking the groom for
money or anything else that may impose a burden on him – even by way of
joking, may embarrass him and make him respond to this request, so he may
use some of his money to pay his friends unwillingly. Ahmad (20577) narrated
from ‘Amr ibn Yathribi that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a man to take any of his
brother’s wealth unless he gives it willingly.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
in al-Irwa’ (2/279)

Al-Qaari (may Allah have mercy
on him) said:

It is haraam to take anything by
means of shyness.

End quote from Mirqaat al-Mafaateeh
(4/1330)

To sum up:

This action should be avoided
and this tradition should be abandoned, because of what it may lead to of
embarrassment, distress and annoyance, whether to the man or his bride.

You can visit at some other
time, and you can joke in some other way.

A man said to Sufyaan ibn
‘Uyaynah (may Allah have mercy on him): Joking is objectionable. He replied:
Rather it is Sunnah, but only for the one who does it in an appropriate
manner at an appropriate time.

See also the answer to question
no. 22170 for information on Islamic guidelines and
etiquette with regard to joking.

For more information, please see
the answer to question no. 91391

And Allah knows best.