He is intimate with his wife and his ex-wife in the same bed
Question I am desperately hoping that in sha Allah you will be able to give me some advice. I am a new Muslimah and am still learning about the laws of Islam and am in a situation where I do not know whether what my husband is telling me to do is haram/makrooh/zina. He will…
Question
My question is: Is any of this haram/zina? I want to please my husband, but I do not want to anger Allah to do it.
I am also deeply concerned about him at this stage, whilst they are both not married to each other, but married to other people and they are doing everything but penetration (he says then it is not adultery).
Please answer my question. I have searched everywhere for answers on intimate relations with co-wives in the same bed and can find nothing. I know that intimacy between two women (lesbianism) is zina, but where does this stand?
Praise be to Allah.
If the ‘iddah
(waiting period following divorce) of a revocably-divorced
wife ends, she becomes a “stranger” to the husband like any other women who are
not related to him; it is not permissible for him to touch her, look at her or
be alone with her, and if she gets married to another man, the matter becomes
more serious and more abhorrent.
Based on that, so long as your husband
has not done a marriage contract with this woman, what he is doing of embracing
her, touching her or kissing her is one of the gravest of evil actions. We do
not know how any Muslim can do such a thing. If he has decided to marry her,
how can he not have any patience to avoid what is haram,
until she becomes permissible to him?! We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound.
If this woman is still married to her (current) husband or he has divorced her
but she is still in the ‘iddah (waiting period), then
it is even more serious and more abhorrent, as stated above, and she is
betraying her husband.
Whatever the case, what your husband is
doing with this woman is blatant immorality and it is a kind of zina (adultery). Zina is of
varying degrees, some of which incur the hadd
punishment, namely intercourse in the vagina, and some are less serious than
that, such as looking, touching and so on. But all of them are haram and one leads to the other, darkness upon darkness.
We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound by His grace. Al-Bukhari
(5744) and Muslim (4801) narrated from Abu Hurayrah
that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has
decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina which
he will inevitably fall into. The zina of the eyes is
looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the nafs (self) wishes and longs, and the private part confirms
that or denies it.”
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: “Any woman who takes off her clothes
anywhere but in her husband’s house, has torn the screen that was between her
and Allah.”
Narrated by Ibn
Majah, 3750; classed as saheeh
by al-Albani
If your husband is encouraging this
woman to get divorced from her (current) husband so that she can go back to
him, then he has fallen into another sin, which is ruining her and spoiling her
for her husband. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah
(may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who turns a woman
against her husband or a slave against his master.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2175; classed as saheeh
by al-Albani in Saheeh
Abi Dawood.
Abu Dawood
also narrated (5170) that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: “Whoever turns a man’s wife or slave against him is not one of
us.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
ِسا-Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abadi
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Whoever turns… against” means whoever
deceives and corrupts.
“a woman
against her husband” by mentioning the husband’s bad qualities in front of his
wife, or the good qualities of another man in front of her.
End quote from ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 6/159
And he said: “Whoever turns a man’s wife
against him” means ruining and corrupting her, or making the idea of divorce
seem good to her, so that he could marry her or
someone else can marry her, and so on.
‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 14/52
Some scholars are of the view that if a
man turns a woman against her husband, it is permanently haram
for him to marry her, and his marriage to her is not valid.
Please see the answer to question no. 84849
To sum up, what your husband is doing in
front of you is a great evil, and it is not permissible for you to approve of
it or keep quiet about it, let alone take part in it. What you have to do is
exhort your husband and advise him, and explain to him that what he is doing is
abhorrent and haram. If he stops, then praise be to Allah, but if he persists in this action it is not
permissible for you to be present when this evil is being committed. You can
threaten to expose him and disclose what he is doing. Then if he persists in
that, it is permissible for you to ask for a divorce, because of his evildoing
and sin.
Secondly:
Being together with two wives in one bed
is permissible subject to three conditions:
(i)
That it be with their consent,
because the wife has a right to separate accommodation and her jealousy may
prevent her from allowing another wife to share her bed.
(ii)
Neither of them should uncover
her ‘awrah in front of the other. The ‘awrah of one woman in front of another is the area between
the navel and the knee. It is haram for a woman to
look at the ‘awrah of another woman.
(iii)
He should not have intercourse
with one of them in the presence of the other. Please see the answer to question no. 26265
Thirdly:
If a woman touches another woman with desire, that is haram; if there
is no desire, then there is nothing wrong with it.
Fourthly:
One of the rights that the wife has over
her husband is that he should give her her own
accommodation, and she has the right to refuse to live with her co-wife.
We ask Allah to guide us and you and to
make us steadfast.
And Allah knows best.
