He makes his mother cry – is he disobedient towards his parents?

Question

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Honouring one’s parents is one of the greatest means of
drawing closer to Allaah and one of the most important obligations, and one
of the most beloved deeds to Allaah after faith, especially honouring one’s
mother, because of her great rights and because of her efforts and kindness.
Hence we are enjoined to care for our mothers and keep them good company, as
al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, who
among people is most deserving of my good company? He said: “Your mother.”
He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said:
“Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your father.”

Ahmad (15577), al-Nasaa’i (3104) and Ibn Maajah (2781)
narrated that Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah came to the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah,
I want to go out and fight (in jihad) and I have come to consult you. He
said; “Do you have a mother?” He said: Yes. He said: “Then stay with her,
for Paradise is at her feet.” Then a second time and a third time he said
something similar on various occasions. Shaykh Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot said: Its
isnaad is hasan.

Secondly:

One of the most obvious ways of honouring one’s parents is
striving to please them and make them happy, and removing things that upset
them or annoy them.

As this is the case, how serious is that which you mention,
that you make your mother cry and make her unhappy. What kind of honouring
is that?

Fear Allaah and beware of being one of those who disobey
their parents without realizing it.

Do you not know that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) sent back a man who had migrated to join him when he
found out that he had left his parents weeping? Abu Dawood (2528),
al-Nasaa’i (4163) and Ibn Maajah (2782) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr
said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and said: I have come to swear allegiance to you and
pledge to migrate but I have left my parents weeping. He said: “Go back to
them and make them smile as you have made them weep.” Classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. And it is well known how important
hijrah (migration) was at that time.

Thirdly:

Your mother is calling you to do something that is in your
best interests and is good for you, which is doing what others do and
working as they do, instead of living a life of idleness. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) praised the one who works and
eats from what he earns. He said: “No one ever eats any food that is better
than that which he has earned with his own hands. The Prophet of Allaah
Dawood (peace be upon him) used to eat from that which he earned with his
own hands.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2072). And he said: “By the One in
Whose hand is my soul, if one of you were to take his rope and carry
firewood on his back, that would be better for him than asking a man who may
give him (something) or withhold from him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1470)
and Muslim (1042). The version narrated by Muslim says: “If one of you were
to tie together a bundle of firewood and carry it on his back and sell it,
that would be better for him than asking a man who may give him (something)
or withhold from him.”

So hasten to get a driving licence, and work hard, so that
your mother will be pleased with you and her grief and sorrow will depart,
and you will be one of the successful, by Allaah’s leave.

May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and
which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.