He wants to become Muslim and marry a Muslim woman

Question

Praise be to Allah.

“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will
never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

Entering Islam is very
simple and is not complicated at all. All that you have to do is to utter
the Shahaadatayn (twin declaration of faith), which is the key to Islam and
the summary and foundation of the faith. So say: Ashhadu an laa ilaaha
ill-Allaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasool-Allaah (I bear witness that
there is no god except Allaah and I bear witness that Muhammad is the
Messenger of Allaah), then do ghusl (full ablution, washing your entire
body) with the intention of purifying yourself for prayer, and practice all
the rituals of Islam, the greatest of which is prayer, which connects a
person with his Lord.

We would like to point out a number of things to you:

1 – You say, “I love her so much that I am willing to embrace
Islam.” Although the motive for your entering Islam may be your desire to
marry a Muslim woman at this stage, when you become Muslim, learn more about
this religion and practise it sincerely in your life, then your conviction
will become stronger, your intention will become pure, and you will become
more sincere towards Allaah and become fully convinced of Islam’s validity,
for nothing can cleanse and purify the soul but that.

2 – You say “We have always been good friends and gone to the
same college”

Please note that one of the basic aims of Islamic sharee’ah
is to preserve people’s honour. Islam has enjoined many regulations in order
to achieve this basic aim, one of which is the prohibition on free mixing
between men and women even in the noblest of places and when seeking the
highest of objectives. One of the teachings of Islam is that men should be
separated from women in the mosque. Muslim narrated in his Saheeh
(440) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best
rows for men are those at the front and the worst are those at the back, and
the best rows for women are those at the back and the worst are those at the
front.”

Al-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim (4/159): What is meant
by the worst rows for men and women are those that bring less reward, are
lower in status and furthest removed from achieving the aims of sharee’ah.
The best rows are the opposite of that. The best rows for women who attend
prayers with men are the last rows, because they are further away from
mixing with men, seeing them and becoming attracted to them when seeing
their movements, hearing their words and so on. The front rows are
criticized for the opposite reasons. And Allaah knows best. End quote.

Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:

Contact between two who love one another in a manner that is
not Islamically acceptable is a serious problem. In this case it is not
permissible for the man to contact the woman or the woman to contact the
man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should inform her wali
(guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she
wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he
offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah
be pleased with them both).

But if the woman gets in touch directly with the man, this is
a source of fitnah (temptation).

As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftoohah,
question no. 868.

3 – You say: “but we do not want to elope.”

We appreciate this
approach which tells us of your good attitude and sound mind.

4 – You say: “I would like to marry her as she is a wonderful
person, kind, loving, intelligent and pious.”

This indicates that you are keen to marry one who is fit to
be a good example to your children and will strive to be easy going with
you. The good characteristics that you have mentioned are some of those
which Islam has described as motives for marriage. It is narrated in
al-Saheehayn and elsewhere from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their
beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is
religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your
prosper).”

This hadeeth indicates
that the most important motive for marriage, which one should pay attention
to, is religious commitment and good character.

5 – You say, “I know Islam welcomes people into its fold.”

This shows that you have a fair-minded view of this religion
which came as a mercy to the worlds.

By the grace and mercy of Allaah, He has caused Islam to
erase whatever sins came before it. If a kaafir becomes Muslim, Allaah
forgives him for everything that he did when he was a kaafir, and he becomes
cleansed of sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from
disbelief), their past will be forgiven. But if they return (thereto), then
the examples of those (punished) before them have already preceded (as a
warning)”

[al-Anfaal 8:38]

Muslim (121) narrated that ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: … when Allaah put Islam in my heart I came to the
Prophet (S) and said: Hold out your right hand so that I might swear
allegiance to you. So he held out his right hand, but I withdrew my hand. He
said: “What is the matter, O ‘Amr?” I said: I want to stipulate a
condition. He said, “What do you want to stipulate?” I said: That I will be
forgiven. He said: “Do you not know, O ‘Amr, that Islam destroys whatever
came before it…?”

“Islam destroys whatever came before it” means it erases it
and removes all trace of it. This was stated by al-Nawawi in Sharh Muslim.

Finally, we have high
hopes of a happy future for you, because you are starting out well, as we
see from your question, especially if we ponder the meaning of the verse in
which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whomsoever Allaah wills to guide, He opens his heart
to Islam”

[al-An’aam 6:125]

We ask Allaah to open
your heart to this religion and to help you to enter it. Undoubtedly that
will be good news for the Muslim woman whom you are going to marry, because
she knows that she cannot marry you until you become Muslim, as is the law
of the Lord of the Worlds. We welcome you to come and ask questions at this
website and to read it, and to cooperate with us in doing good.

May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad
and all his family and companions.