His brother is gay; what are his responsibilities towards him?
Question I think my brother is gay, and I say this because of the way he talks, the way he does his hair, the kind of clothes that he wears and the things that he is interested in. One time I used his USB and saw some pornography on it, including anal intercourse, and I…
Question
talks, the way he does his hair, the kind of clothes that he
wears and the things that he is interested in. One time I used
his USB and saw some pornography on it, including anal
intercourse, and I do not know whether it was between two men,
because I closed it quickly and erased the file. I asked him
about it and he said he did not know where it came from, but in
the end I found more in his room. I also checked his personal
computer and I found out that he visits gay websites in the
country where he is studying. My question is: do I have to
advise him and warn him about the bad consequences of this sin?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Homosexuality, whether it is among men or women, is one
of the most abhorrent of immoral and evil actions that a
person may commit, and is one of the most shameful deeds in
this world and in the hereafter. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah
have mercy on him) said concerning the one who commits this
act that he has committed so great an evil that there is no
hope that he will ever be reformed after that; it takes away
all his good deeds and removes all modesty and shyness,
because after that he will not feel shy before Allah or
before His creation.
Indeed, Allah, may He be exalted, destroyed an entire
town along with its people, namely the town of the people of
Loot, because of this immoral action. See the answers to
questions no. 10050,
38622 and 20068.
What you must do for your brother is tell him of the
shame in this world and in the Hereafter that results from
this evil, that it will ruin his spiritual and worldly
interests, and that he will become insignificant to Allah and
to other people if he persists in it. Warn him of the
consequences and the shar‘i ruling on the one who does
that.
Then you have to block every means that makes it easy for
him to do this immoral action or that calls him to it. If you
can move him from the place where he is studying, where he
began to find out about these homosexual websites, then you
should do so. If he is under your guardianship and you are
responsible for him, then you should prevent him from doing
that by all possible means. You should remember that you are
responsible for him so long as he is under your care and
authority.
In
fact, even if this sinner was not your brother or you did not
have any authority over him, your duty would still be to
strive by all possible means to remove this evil that you see
and prevent him from doing it, and to advise him for the sake
of Allah and warn him of Allah’s
punishment.
Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (70) that Abu Sa‘eed
al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
say: “Whoever among you sees an
evil action, then let him change it with his hand [by taking
action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue
[by speaking out]; and if he
cannot, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of
faith.”
See
also the answers to questions no. 52893 and 39357
Secondly:
These signs that you see in your brother’s appearance,
namely his clothes and outward appearance, and the way he
speaks, are all evil actions that lead to homosexuality and
immorality, even if you do not know that your brother has
committed that action. So how about if he were to exhibit
signs indicating that he has committed that
action?
It
was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him)
said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
cursed effeminate men and masculinised women and said: “Expel
them from your houses.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5436
Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
That is, men who imitate women in appearance, clothing,
using henna, voice, speech and all their movements. Such
actions are prohibited because it comes under the heading of
changing the creation of Allah.
An-Nawawi said:
Effeminate men are of two types. One type is those who
were created like that and are not trying to imitate the
attitude of women and the way they dress, speak and move. For
such people, there is no blame, sin, shame or punishment for
them because they are excused.
The
second type is those who deliberately imitate women in their
attitude and movements, and imitate the way they speak and
dress. These are the ones who the hadeeth says are cursed.
End quote.
We
ask Allah to make things easy for you and to set your
brother’s affairs straight and help you to discipline
him.
And
Allah knows best.
