Is a person really committed if she has a boyfriend?

Question

Praise be to Allah.

The people who should be most committed to obeying the
commands of Allaah and heeding His prohibitions are those whom He has
blessed with guidance, knowledge of Islam and following the path of
religious commitment, so how can people like these friends whom you describe
as being religiously committed agree to follow in the footsteps of the
shaytaan by doing that which Allaah has forbidden? Should they not be
grateful for the blessing that Allaah has bestowed upon them by guiding them
to Islam and religious commitment, so they should be the best examples of
righteousness to others?

As for the fact that these friends of yours know that they
are doing something haraam, that counts for nothing here. Who says that mere
knowledge is what prevents a person from falling into sin? Didn’t Iblees
know that what his Lord enjoined upon him was true? Didn’t the Jews know
that the Prophet was true? And so on and so forth. Allaah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Do they not travel in the land, and see what was the end
of those before them? They were superior to them in strength, and they
tilled the earth and populated it in greater numbers than these (pagans)
have done, and there came to them their Messengers with clear proofs.
Surely, Allaah wronged them not, but they used to wrong themselves”

[al-Room 30:9]

“And they belied them (those Ayaat) wrongfully and
arrogantly, though their ownselves were convinced thereof [i.e. those
(Ayaat) are from Allaah, and Moosa (Moses) is the Messenger of Allaah in
truth, but they disliked to obey Moosa (Moses), and hated to believe in his
Message of Monotheism]. So see what was the end of the Mufsidoon
(disbelievers, and disobedient to Allaah, evildoers liars)”

[al-Naml 27:14]

But the point here is that the one who knows, and exhorts
others, and speaks, bears a greater responsibility, and his going against
the knowledge that he has is worse and more reprehensible.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Enjoin you Al-Birr (piety and righteousness and each and
every act of obedience to Allaah) on the people and you forget (to practise
it) yourselves, while you recite the Scripture! Have you then no sense?”

[al-Baqarah 2:44]

“O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not
do?

3. Most hateful it is with Allaah that you say that which
you do not do”

[al-Saff 61:2-3]

What you must do is remind your friends of their duties, as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Therefore remind (men) in case the reminder profits
(them).

10. The reminder will be received by him who fears
(Allaah)”

[al-A’la 87:9-10]

“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an
evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allaah),
and (indeed) they then see (aright)”

[al-A’raaf 7:201]

Remind them that this is abhorrent for any Muslim, male or
female, so how about if the Muslim woman is one who outwardly makes a
display of commitment to the religion of Allaah, and sets an example for
people, and calls people to Allaah?

In Saheeh al-Bukhaari (3267) and Saheeh Muslim
(2989) it is narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) say: “A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and thrown
into the Fire; his intestines will spill forth and he will go around them as
a donkey goes around the millstone. The people of Hell will gather around
him and will say: O So and so, what is the matter with you? Did you not
enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil? He will say: Yes, but I used to
enjoin good and not do it, and I used to forbid evil and do it.”

And it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness of a scholar who teaches good to
the people but forgets about himself is that of a lamp that illuminates the
people but burns itself.” Narrated by al-Khateeb in Iqtida’ al-‘Ilm
(49) and elsewhere; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’
no. 5831.

‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:

I have seen sins deaden hearts and persisting in them may
lead to humiliation

Forsaking sin brings life to the heart and it is better for
your soul to go against whims and desires

Does anything corrupt the religion more than kings and bad
priests and monks

Who sell their souls but did not make any gain and did not
sell them for the right price

Because they are like one that feeds upon a corpse and every
wise man knows such as one is a loser.

As for the excuse of emotional attachment towards the
boyfriend, this is the essence of whims and desires which lead one to doom,
Allaah forbid. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires)
as his ilaah (god)? And Allaah knowing (him as such), left him astray, and
sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then
will guide him after Allaah? Will you not then remember?”

[al-Jaathiyah 45:23]

Qataadah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He does not
feel attracted to anything but it will control him, because he does not fear
Allaah. Tafseer al-Tabari (22/76).

Allaah describes chaste believing women as those who avoid
having boyfriends. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whoever of you have not the means wherewith to wed
free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those (slaves)
whom your right hands possess, and Allaah has full knowledge about your
Faith; you are one from another. Wed them with the permission of their own
folk (guardians, Awliyaa’ or masters) and give them their Mahr according to
what is reasonable; they (the above said slave-girls) should be chaste, not
committing illegal sex, nor taking boyfriends”

[al-Nisa’ 4:25]

Al-musaafihaat (translated here
as “committing illegal sex”) means women who fornicate or commit adultery,
who commit immoral actions. As for taking boyfriends, this refers to women
who make friends with men and take them as close friends, as Ibn ‘Abbaas and
others among the salaf said. [See: Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 2/261].

By the same token, Allaah describes the chaste men who seek
what is permissible and good. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds
of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered
eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food
(slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you
in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those
who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you
have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at
the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock)
not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends.
And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in
all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books,
His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al‑Qadar (Divine
Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will
be among the losers”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Just as He
stipulated that women should be chaste, He also stipulated the same for men,
which means that men should also be chaste. Hence He says “not committing
illegal sexual intercourse”, which refers to those who commit
fornication or adultery, who would not refrain from any sin and would
indulge in sin whenever the opportunity arises, “nor taking them as
girlfriends,” i.e., mistresses with whom they satisfy their sexual
desires. End quote.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer (3/43)

For more information on the seriousness of these types of
haraam relationships, and the attitude of Islam towards them, please see the
answers to questions no. 59907,
47405,
36618, and many answers in
the section on morals and manners.

And Allaah knows best.