Limits within which mixing is permitted among family members

Question

Praise be to Allah.

Islam brought clear guidelines to regulate the relationship
between a man and a woman who is a stranger (non-mahram) to him and to
prevent the occurrence of any fitnah (temptation) to him or to her. That
includes the following:

1.

Prohibition on
being alone with a member of the opposite sex

because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: “No man is alone with a woman except the third one present is the
Shaytaan.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2165); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.

According to another report: “Whoever believes in Allah and
the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who does not have a mahram
with her, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.”

Narrated by Ahmad; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim and
adh-Dhahabi agreed with him. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat
al-Maraam (180)

2.

Prohibition on
shaking hands and touching

because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is
better for him than touching a woman who is not permissible for him.”

Narrated by at-Tabaraani from the hadith of Ma‘qil ibn Yasaar;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ no. 5045.

3.

Prohibition on a
man looking at a woman

because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower
their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private
parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily,
Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

And tell
the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things),
and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to
show off their adornment except only that which is apparent”

[an-Noor 24:30-31].

In Saheeh Muslim (2159) it is narrated that Jareer ibn
‘Abdullah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about an accidental glance and he
instructed me to avert my gaze.

As for a woman looking at a man without desire, it is
permissible according to the more correct opinion.

4.

Prohibition on
speaking softly in the case of women

because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):

“then be not soft in speech,
lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for
adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable
manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32].

5.

Obligation to
cover the ‘awrah

and the woman’s ‘awrah in front of non-mahram men is all of
her body, including the face and hands. See the answer to question no.
11774.

These guidelines apply to the interaction of a woman with any
man who is a stranger (non-mahram) to her, even if he is a relative, such as
her cousin (son of her paternal uncle or son of her maternal aunt). In fact
she should be more cautious and prudent when interacting with relatives,
because a relative is seen frequently, as he comes and goes a great deal,
which helps to give rise to fitnah if the guidelines outlined above are not
followed. Hence the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Beware of entering upon women. A man from among the Ansaar said: O
Messenger of Allah, what about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4934) and Muslim (2172).

The word translated here as in-law refers to the husband’s
brother, cousin and other similar relatives.

As for simply greeting with salaam, without shaking hands, or
speaking when necessary without any softness of speech, or being in the same
place, so long as proper covering is observed and being alone together is
avoided, there is nothing wrong with that.

In some societies, for a woman to adhere to these guidelines
may appear strange, because of lack of knowledge and the prevalence of those
who are too lenient. So the woman should be patient, and explain and clarify
the rulings to the best of her ability.

We ask Allah to guide us and you, and to make us all
steadfast.

And Allah knows best.