Making friends with a kaafir woman

Question

Praise be to Allah.

Undoubtedly making friends with a kaafir woman will adversely
affect her religious commitment, because a kaafir woman does not behave in
the same manner or have the same attitude as a Muslim woman, and she does
not worship Allaah according to the religion of Islam. Therefore she will
not avoid doing things that may adversely affect this Muslim woman who may
be deceived by the modest dress or good manners of this kaafir woman,
especially in matters that will adversely affect her religious commitment.

Similarly, making friends with her may lead to some kind of
approval in one’s heart for the rituals that she does as part of her own
religion, and this will weaken the sense of friendship and enmity for the
sake of Allaah (al-wala’ wa’l-bara’).

Indeed, it may lead some ignorant people to disapprove of the
ruling of Allaah that the kaafirs are disbelievers who will abide in Hell
forever – we seek refuge with Allaah. Hence the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not keep company with anyone but
a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832; classed as saheeh by Ibn
Hibbaan, 2/314; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’,
7341).

We do not mean, however,
that this Muslim woman should cut herself off completely from the kaafir
woman; she may visit with her, visit her when she is sick and give her
gifts, but without forming an emotional attachment or joining in their
festivals and celebrations. And the Muslim woman should aim, in those visits
and gift-giving, to call this kaafir woman to Islam. This is what our
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, as is
mentioned in two hadeeths:

1 – It was narrated from Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib that his
father said: “When Abu Taalib was on his deathbed, the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered upon him, and Abu Jahl and
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Umayyah were present. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘O uncle, say Laa ilaaha
ill-Allaah, and I will plead for you before Allaah.’ Abu Jahl and
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Umayyah said: ‘O Abu Taalib, will you turn away from the
religion of ‘Abd al-Muttalib?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: ‘I will keep on praying for forgiveness for you
until I am forbidden (by Allaah) to do so.” Then the following aayah was
revealed:

“It is not (proper) for
the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allaah’s forgiveness for the
Mushrikoon, even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them
that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in a state of
disbelief)”

[al-Tawbah 9:113]

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4398; Muslim, 24

2 – It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: “There was a Jewish boy who used to serve the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he fell sick. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to visit him; he sat by his
head and said, ‘Become Muslim.’ The boy looked at his father, who was
present, and he (the father) said: ‘Obey Abu’l-Qaasim (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So he became Muslim, and the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) left, saying, ‘Praise be to
Allaah Who has saved him from the Fire.’”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1290.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
gave permission to Asma’ bint Abi Bakr to receive her mushrik mother (when
she came to visit her), and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) gave a
gift of a garment to his mushrik brother.

It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be
pleased with her) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and
she was a mushrik. So I consulted the Messenger of Allaah, (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘My mother wants to visit me
and expects me to treat her kindly; should I uphold the ties of kinship with
my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold the ties of kinship with your mother.’”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477; Muslim, 1003

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be
pleased with them both) said: “ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab saw a silken garment
being sold at the door of the mosque. He said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, why
don’t you buy it and wear it on Fridays and when the delegations come to
you?’ He said, ‘This is worn by one who has no share in the Hereafter.’
Later on some silken garments were brought and the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave one to ‘Umar. He said, ‘Are
you giving me this to wear when you said what you said about the garment of
‘Utaarid?’ He said, ‘I did not give it to you to wear.’ So ‘Umar gave it to
a mushrik brother of his in Makkah to wear.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2470; Muslim 2068.

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said: There is nothing wrong with
visiting kaafirs in order to call them to Islam. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) visited his paternal uncle Abu Taalib when
he was dying and called him to Islam, and he visited the Jewish boy and
called him to Islam.

But visiting kaafirs in order to have a good time with them
is not permitted, because it is obligatory to hate them and shun them. It is
permissible to accept their gifts because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) accepted gifts from some of the kaafirs,
such as the gift from al-Muqawqis the ruler of Egypt. But it is not
permissible to congratulate them on the occasion of their festivals because
this implies befriending them and approving of their falsehood.

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 1/255

And Allaah knows best.