Should he leave his job so that he can live with his parents?

Question

Praise be to Allah.

There are different degrees of honouring one’s parents, the
least of which is upholding ties with them by spending on them, caring about
them, asking after them and showing concern. As for the greatest of these
degrees, there is no limit to it, and the righteous and the believers
compete in that, in ways that are limitless. This is the essential attitude
of the message brought by the Prophets, motivated by the verses and
ahaadeeth which place a great emphasis on parents and mention their rights
alongside the rights of Allaah, may He be exalted, and which speak of a
great reward for honouring them and upholding ties with them. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) regarded that as the best
of deeds after prayer, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) heard the recitation of Haarithah ibn al-Nu’maan in Paradise
and said: “He attained this level (in Paradise) because of honouring his
mother.” Narrated by Ibn Wahb in al-Jaami’ (22); classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (913). The prayers of Uways
al-Qarni were answered because he honoured his mother.

Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Adab al-Mufrad (15), in a
report that was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab,
from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them) that a man came to him
and said: I proposed marriage to a woman but she refused to marry me;
someone else proposed to her and she agreed to marry him. I got jealous and
killed her. Can I repent? He said: Is your mother alive? He said: No. He
said: Repent to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and seek to draw
near to Him as much as you can. I went and asked Ibn ‘Abbaas: Why did you
ask him if his mother was alive? He said: Because I do not know of any deed
that will bring one closer to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, than
honouring one’s mother.

We say to you:

When it comes to honouring your parents and upholding ties
with them, it is undoubtedly better to stay with them to serve them and take
care of them. Abu Hurayrah stayed with his mother and he did not do Hajj
until she died, so that he could keep her company, as it says in Saheeh
Muslim (1665). The fuqaha’ stated that it is haraam for a son to travel
to seek knowledge or engage in business if that will result in neglect of
his parents.

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (3/156):

If he – the son – wants to go out to seek knowledge in
another country, or engage in trade, but he fears that his parents may be
neglected, then he does not have the right to go out without their
permission.

The basic principle with regard to that is the report
narrated by Abu Dawood (2528) and al-Nasaa’i (4163), that a man came to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
said: I have come to swear allegiance to you and pledge to migrate, and I
have left my parents weeping. He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “Go back and make them smile as you have made them weep.”

Classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Mulqin in al-Badr al-Muneer
(9/40) and al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

Abd ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas narrated that a man came
to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
and said: O Messenger of Allaah, should I go for jihad? He said: Do you have
parents? He said: Yes. He said: Then your jihad is with them. Agreed upon.
End quote.

But if it will not result in any neglect of the parents, and
they have others around who can look after them, or they are able to look
after themselves, then he may go out to seek knowledge or do business, and
it is not essential to have their permission.

It says in al-Mudawwanah (2/101):

Maalik said: Once a boy reaches the age of puberty he may go
wherever he wants, and the father has no right to prevent him. End quote.

See al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (8/7071).

But we advise you to do what is best and to do that which
will bring a great reward with Allaah, which is to be closer to them and
make them happy during the remainder of their lives, and look after them. Do
not deprive them of your company, and do not be a cause of them grieving
every time you bid farewell to them and travel. Whoever wants to honour them
completely, let him fulfil their wishes and do what makes them happy. ‘Urwah
ibn al-Zubayr interpreted the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “And
lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy” [al-Isra’
17:24] by saying: Do not refrain from doing anything they want. End
quote. Tafseer al-Tabari (17/418)

Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Adab al-Mufrad (18), in a
report that was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab
al-Mufrad, from Abu Burdah that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with
him) saw a Yemeni man circumambulating the Ka’bah, carrying his mother on
his back and saying, I am her humble camel, do you think that I have repaid
her? Ibn ‘Umar said: No, not even one contraction.

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ja’far said: I heard Bandar – who is one of
the imams of hadeeth – say: I wanted to go out – i.e., to seek a hadeeth –
and my mother told me not to, so I obeyed her, and I was blessed in that.

Al-Dhahabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Siyar
(12/144): he compiled the hadeeth of Basra and he did not travel, out of
respect for his mother, then he travelled after she died. End quote.

Ja’far al-Khaldi said: Al-Abbaar – Abu’l-‘Abbaas Ahmad ibn
‘Ali ibn Muslim (d. 290 AH) was one of the most ascetic of people. He asked
his mother for permission to travel to Qutaybah – i.e., to hear hadeeth –
and she did not give him permission; then she died, so he went out to
Khurasaan, then he reached Balkh and Qutaybah had died. They offered him
condolences for that, and he said: This is the result of knowledge; I chose
to please my mother. End quote. Al-Siyar (13/443).

Imam Ibn ‘Asaakir was asked about postponing travel to
Isbahaan, and he said: I asked my mother for permission to travel there and
she did not give me permission. End quote. Al-Siyar (20/567).

Bishr al-Haafi said:

The son who draws close to his mother so that he can hear his
mother is better than the one who strikes with his sword for the sake of
Allaah, and looking at her is better than everything. End quote.
Al-Tabsirah by Ibn al-Jawzi (1/188).

This is how our righteous predecessors were: they did not
give precedence to any deed at all over honouring one’s parents and they did
not feel that this entire world could make up for one of the parents needing
the son and not finding him there.

If you can go back to your parents and stay in their city,
and that will not cause you any serious harm due to leaving your work, then
strive to honour them and give precedence to that which is better, and do
not hesitate to do that, for Allaah has enjoined us to hasten and hurry to
do good things.

But if pleasing them is more likely to be achieved by your
staying in your job and earning money that you can spend on them, then keep
your job and strive to make the most of every opportunity to travel to visit
them and spend your vacations with them. And seek in all of that the
pleasure of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.

And Allaah knows best.